


Bros Before...

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 21:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10500129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Everyone else is dating. Kazuichi is bitter.





	

**Author's Note:**

> @idaate convinced me that this was good

The familiar chimes of the phone's default message tone rang out, bringing an abrupt full stop to the four friends' banter as they sat together on the park bench. Fuyuhiko delved into his pocket, picking it out and reading the text that flashed up on the screen.

"Sorry guys. I gotta go in, like, two minutes. Peko's waiting for me."

Kazuichi spoke up. "What happened to you, man? You used to be cool, but since you started dating, it's all 'Peko this, Peko that'! You forgot about your friends, all over some girl who's probably gonna leave you soon--"

"Yeah, we get it, Kazu. You're bitter," Hajime interrupted, in an attempt to stop him enraging Fuyuhiko enough that he'd lash out.

"Not like you're a neutral, Hajime. You're the most whipped guy here. I'm pretty sure that Mahiru keeps you on an actual leash. We used to be bros. Soul friends. Now you're prancing about, trying to please her. She's not even worth it, I was pretty sure she was a lesbian when I saw her..."

The ranting was once again halted by a message tone, this time a few bars of Bach's famous Toccata and Fugue on organ; an edgy, dark ringtone like that could only belong to the fourth friend, who had remained silent through all this.

"If you are all quite finished with your infantile squabbles, the Ascendant Ruler of Ice must make haste. My Lady of Darkness must be attended to."

"Not you too, Gundam? I thought you scared your love interests off as soon as you saw them! And wait-- 'Lady of Darkness'? Are you screwin' with Miss Sonia?!"

"Much as I would delight to dishearten you at this point, you are incorrect. The Lady of Darkness I refer to belongs to the class junior to us. She of the regal raven hair and the most ornate of dresses..."

"Wait, Celeste?" Kazuichi was rather confused by this development. "Never saw you as much of a pairin', really."

"Why, we share a desire to rule over the domain of the damned, with an army of underlings at our feet. Under such circumstances, a union of forces was inevitable."

"Whatever, I still don't speak Goth. At least Miss Sonia's still free!"

"Uh... no." Hajime was blunt in his dismissal. "Actually, I saw her in the old building yesterday, holding hands with Akane."

"So, Miss Sonia decides to get with a girl without tellin' me first? That ain't right! And does Nekomaru know? He's crazy close to Akane."

"Yeah, he knows. And he's not interested. I hear he's been pursuing that first-year boy who talks to bugs."

"Wait, Nekomaru's gay?"

"Heh, that's the part that surprised you?" Fuyuhiko chimed in, with one last word before he walked off. "You try getting a straight guy to make a career out of hangin' around in changing rooms with a bunch of men."

Hajime was now left alone to deal with a Kazuichi who looked to be in a perfect mix of rage and despair. "How... are these guys getting dates, and I can't even get that girl from the engineering studio to look at me? It's not like she's even a prude or anything... Am I gonna be the only one alone and not getting any?"

Suddenly, faster than a lightning bolt... "You could always get me, if you know what I mean..." This in the tone equivalent of the Lenny Face.

"Fuck off, Teruteru."

"You know, Kazu, for once I agree with you."


End file.
